Get scared. It will do you good. Smoke a bit, stare blankly at some ceilings, beat your head against some walls, refuse to see some people, paint and write. Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don’t care what you’ll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.
5/17/13
Been biking a lot downtown, drinking a ton of water (almost without much effort) and doing jump-lunges and squats, despite those being my biggest weakness. But it’s starting to pay off in very small ways: When I flex my legs, I have definition, and it’s a very slender muscle and not bulky at all.
Working out every day has my hormones going crazy too, but in a good way. My acne is mostly under control and my skin looks a lot better (like this hydrated, almost bronze-y glow) and my usual non-existant self-esteem is up a little bit.
When I work out, I feel like taking time on my hair and makeup before going out. I feel like making new friends, talking to new people.
Still too coward to look a good-looking guy in the eyes though. But I want this to change. Seriously I’m 23 and I had to google “how to flirt” before I realized it should be something that has no set formula and just comes natural. I’m too nervous all the time and too busy thinking about my flaws.
Make no mistake, I’m working out for me, and not so I can be more attractive to other people. It would just really help me mentally, and that’s what I need.
gypsyone:
Today in LA
To be a pretty girl in a white summer dress with brilliant tattoos = GOALS.
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
